God Only Knows
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: Natalie and Monk dance on the anniversary of Mitch's death.


**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Monk or the Beach Boys. Nor do I wish too. I'm happy with what little I have from God._

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**God Only Knows**

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**_Summary: Natalie has a comfortable replacement for Mitch by the anniversary of his death._**

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Ten years and she finally felt like putting on the song, assuming she'd have a cry and get over it tonight. Of course, she didn't factor Monk into her plans; which she really should have, as it was rare that he wouldn't have something he'd need from her during any given night.

_I may not always love you _

_But long as there are stars above you_

It reminded her of her wedding day. She broke down in sobs, glad that she'd sent Julie off to a friend's place early. The song her and Mitch had danced too. The promises they'd made.  
The phone brought her out of her thoughts and she turned off the music.

"Hello?"

"Natalie, good. I'm glad I got you..." Monk stopped mid-sentence. Usually he'd wait until he'd gotten it all out in the open but this time there was something that made him stop. She must have given it all away in her voice. She choked back any tears she was accidentally letting get in the way of her job and decided to speak.

"What is it Monk?"

"Natalie. You're crying." He exclaimed, as though he'd never heard anyone cry before. His assistant was always much tougher than him. He'd cried on too many occasions to note around her... but yet, he can't remember clearly the last time he heard the sounds of such an empty sadness in her voice.

"Yeah" Natalie wiped away tears even though he couldn't see her over the phone. "Just a little bit." She tried to inject positivity into her voice the best she could.

Monk was hesitant, "Are you... busy?"

Natalie almost smirked through her tear stained demeanor. _He never bothered to ask if she was busy!_ She hardly knew how to respond to that. "No. I'm fine. What is it?"

"I'll come over then."

Natalie was about to say something to stop him but he'd already hung up the phone. _Figures._ She thought. _Presumptuous Monk._ _For all he knew she could have had a date._  
She put the song on and it repeated through again. She didn't bother to clean up for him, in the past years of working for him, she'd naturally become more of a neat freak anyway, so the place was pretty presentable and if he was going to intrude on her night he was going to just have to deal with it!

_You never need to doubt it _

_I'll make you so sure about it_

She'd drifted off into a daydream about dancing with Mitch until the door was knocked and she heaved a sigh, straightened her blouse, wiped her cheeks dry with her hands and then her hands dry with her jeans and opened the door.

"Hi." Monk said, sounding a little apprehensive and she immediately knew why. He stood there in his police uniform, his hat in his hands.

"Mr Monk!" Natalie was more than surprised. "What are you wearing?"

"The uniform... you said it reminded you..." he was obviously looking for an excuse to get back to normality, but Natalie touched his arm bringing him in the house.

She saw straight through him, or at least she'd liked to think. Monk rarely did anything simply for the comfort of another person. "You're not doing this for some secretaries day gift again are you?"

This time he knew what to say. "You're not my secretary, Natalie."

"That's right I'm not. You'd better remember that."  
Monk heard the music playing in the background and took notice as Natalie paced nervously. This was a private moment. It had been ten years since she lost Mitch. She was supposed to be spending this night with him... well, the best way she knew how which was through this song.

_God only knows what I'd be without you_

"God only knows..." Monk mouthed after hearing the refrain.

Natalie turned to him, "What?"

"The song." he replied.

"Mitch and I danced to this at our wedding." Natalie couldn't help the frown from reappearing on her face but she managed to keep the tears away through careful restraint.

"Oh" he replied. He wasn't the best at dealing with anyone else's grief, but she knew he was making an effort.

"We don't have to listen to it." Natalie blushed at the embarrassment of her emotional nudity at that moment and went to the CD player. Monk caught her by taking her hand before she got there and put and arm awkwardly at the small of her back.

Natalie would have laughed at him if it was any other day. "Mr Monk! What are you doing?"

"Dancing" he said simply, leaving her to squeeze his hand and move in closer to him.

_If you should ever leave me _

_Though life would still go on believe me_

Her mind was reeling for a moment. _Dancing? _Her and Mr Monk don't dance! Not together anyhow. She placed a hand over his shoulder and rested herself upon him, closing her eyes. For the next round of the song she could almost pretend it was Mitch she was dancing with. A "Mitch", that if she thought about it hard enough (which would break the illusion if she did) smelt oddly of wipes and dry cleaning.

_The world could show nothing to me _

_So what good would living do me?_

"This has been the best secretaries day ever" she said softly as they broke away from each other. It surely beat flowers. Natalie couldn't help but wonder if Stottlemeyer had tipped Monk off to what day it was today.

"It's not secretaries day." Monk sounded confused.

"I know. I'm just pretending. It was a really great thought," she told him. "Mitch would have liked you."

There was a silence between them for some time until Monk felt he had to say something. "Don't leave me, Natalie."

"Mr Monk!" she slapped his arm in jest. "I'm not leaving you. What would give you an idea like that?"

It looked like tiny pinpricks of tears were forming in his own eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I... I can't..."

She pulled him back into her again. "Shhh... Shhh... I'm not leaving you" she said soothingly.

_God only knows what I'd be without you_

_God only knows what I'd be without you_

She patted his back and smiled. It was almost funny. Half an hour ago she was wallowing in her own misery and now she was back on her feet again, doing not only her job but the one thing in the world that made her feel OK. The one thing that made her certain life was worth living since letting go of Mitch - taking care of Monk.  
"I don't know what I'd do without you either, Monk" she whispered to the top of his head and gave him a quick kiss on it.

_God only knows what I'd be without you_

The music faded out and the two of them stayed with their arms wrapped around each other, rocking softly to the non-existent beat.

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**This is my first Monk/Natalie one-shot. I listened to this song on repeat while I was writing it. If you want to see more from me and not have me throw in the towel, press that review button and thanks for the sweet PM's from those encouraging me to write this! (You know who you are).**

**This is for you!**


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